No Coaching Today

It feels like it's been way too long since we've slept together in the same bed. Katniss has been pushing me away lately, and we both know why. I can't read her mind, but it doesn't take a psychic to figure out what she's been planning. She'll want me to come home, she'll sacrifice herself for me.

But I am not going to let that happen.

I made a deal with Haymitch and he's going to keep it. He has to. It's only fair. Last game we both wanted her to come home. Consequently, sacrificing me. She got all of the supplies, and I nearly die in a puddle of mud. I didn't get help until she came to nurse me back to health. Haymitch owes me now. He has to do that one favor for me: let her live again. He has to. I can't let her die. Our teamwork again once will bring her home to her family and her friends.

Jealousy takes over for a moment as I think of Gale. There's no hate, but the yearning that the way she earnestly cares for him- the way I care for her- was at me instead. When I die in that arena, I hope she at least ends up happy. With him. She could marry him. They could have kids, or not if she choses. As long as it's her choice. Unless the Capitol has anything to do with it. Those twelves in training guranteed all the other tributes will be after both of us. And Snow has a grudge over Katniss. He knows just how to make her squirm. I noticed the male Avox. He was one of the friendly Peacekeepers. He had tried to help Gale when Thread punished him. I saw the torture in her eyes. I wasn't Hob like she was, so she sought comfort with Haymitch instead, but I know this is all meant to screw with her.

An idea suddenly pops into my head. Last year before the interviews, I planned to make an announcement that would surely upset the Capitol crowd, and it thankfully did. What if I did exactly that again? But what can I do to possibly top that? We're already engaged, and people arn't too happy about that, but what more can I say to turn the crowd against him? Say we're already married? I could talk about a wedding tradtion we have in District Twelve called a toasting. That might not be enough though. Another idea dawns on me. I will mention a wedding during our interview. But not the wedding night. The people aren't happy about sending in the victors they've gotten to know for years. But how would they feel about sending the pair of star crossed lovers, just married...

And expecting a baby?

They weren't pleased with us going in last year, but we both got out. That wouldn't be allowed again. I don't think I can tell her about this plan either, wanting another genuine reaction. And I appreciate fact that I'm last again. Best news for last. Hopefully the most eruptive.

I stayeup all night again, watching her sleep in my arms. I was prepared to have to wake her up if any nightmares came and her thrashing started up. So far, nothing. I almost laugh at the fact that, last year, I was having the same thought process about her, only this time, I know she cares for me. Maybe even loves me too, just not the same way I love her. But it's an improvement and it won't make a big difference in a few short days. I'm as good as gone.

Katniss wakes up and her eyes flutter open. "No nightmares," I say softly.

"No nightmares," she confirms. "You?"

How could I? I didn't really sleep. "None," I sigh," I'd forgotten what a real's night sleep feels like."

For quite some time, we stay in her room lounging around. We expect Effie or Haymitch to come in so we can coach for the interviews tomorrow. Katniss and I agreed the might as well do it together. But the red headed Avox girl came into hand us a note from Effie. Katniss read aloud and it said coaching was cancelled. "Really," I ask, taking it and skimming over it. I smile when I'm done. "Do you know what this means?" She waits for me to answer for her. "We'll have the whole day to ourselves."

She sighs, "It's too bad we can't go somewhere."

Somewhere comes to mind. The garden on the roof. "Who says we can't?"

I ask Katniss to fold up a couple spare blankets while I order any food on the menu I think someone would eat on a picinic. I also ask for a couple baskets. The several minutes before the the meal is done, she keeps saking me what I've got planned, but she finally gets the hint when the food arrives. As quickly as I can manage, I shove some of my drawing supplies in a basket and we make our way to the roof.

There's a soft breeze going, causing the wind chimes to become a symphony of sound. The flowers are in full bloom, making this a beautiful setting. And the sun is high, making the day bright. In the back of my mind, I knew if we were actually together, this would be quite romantic. But we're not together. We're only friends, or some strange for of friends. But I can deal with that. as long as she here with me.

After taking in the scnery, we lay out the blankets, spread out the food, and begin to eat. "You know what?" she says, after finishing a sandwich. I raise my eyebrows, telling her to continue. "Now, that I think about it, I've never been on a picinic before. Ever." I smile. She slides her hand over mine and squeezes. "Thanks, Peeta." I'm shocked when she leans in to peck me on the cheek. "That was really nice of you to do this."

"No problem, Katniss. I'm glad I was here for your first picinic." I squeeze back.

Yes, she does care about me. It warms my heart for it to be assured.

After eating, we lay down head against head just talking. About anything and everything. She told me about when her family first moved into their new house. I told her about some cakes I made during the time we weren't speaking. We even shared a couple dreams that made the other laugh. Obviously these dream were long before the games. Too bad we couldn't have done this years ago before our lives were tainted by the Hunger Games. But I know it wouldn't have happened. I never had the guts to.

At some point, Katniss stands up and snaps off small lengths of vine. She makes random knots we learned from training. I take out my sketchbook and draw her face as she concentrates on each pull of the vine. Eventually she notices me skteching. "What are you drawing?"

I hold up my work. "You."

"Oh." She crawls over to my side and takes a closer look. "Is that I looked like just now?"

"Mhmm, this what you look like when working on your own form of art." I gesture to the vine in her hand.

"Knot tying is hardly an art form," she laughs.

"You do it much better than I can," And whose to say it isn't? It's just a more... practical form."

"Yeah, yeah, Peeta. Sure."

We both laugh and continue creating art. We tire of it after a while. And I suggest we eat a little more. I toss her an apple and I grab one for myself. But she suddenly gets to her feet, looking out beyond the garden, out into the city. I'm by her side in a moment, panicking. "What?" I ask desperately. "What is it?" I'm scanning the view, wondering what's about to happen. Is there some hovercraft coming? Is there something happeningon the ground?

But she just grins, instantly calming my nerves. "I wonder what would happen if I chucked the apple off the building."

I smile wryly. "I don't know. Why don't we find out." We walk closer to the egde and she throws it with all of her strength out into the air. We hear it hit the force field and it comes flying back. I catch it. Then I throw it as hard as I can, but it too come back and she catches it. Our eyes meet. "Was it ridiculous for me to hope it would make it through the force field and hit someone on the ground?"

She just laughs in reponse. We make a game of tossing the apple, at first with force, but we tired out our arms and reduced it to simple tosses. But she loses interest after a while and began to toss and catch it bored. So I take a bite of the apple, ending it, making her laugh again.

We lay back down on the blankets. And this time her head is in my lap. Katniss had gathered some flowers from a tree before lying down, and worked them into a crown as I pretended to make knots in her hair. This has really been a perfect day, and it not even done yet.

"What?" she asks.

I hadn't realized my hands went still. I probably should've lied. It usually makes her uncomfortable when I refer to my love for her. But for some reason, I don't hold back. "I wish I could freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live in it forever."

There's a pause, and I"m almost expecting her to get up and leave, ruining this entire day we've spent togather. "Okay," she says simply. And continues working on her crown.

I can't help but smile. "Then you'll allow it?" Why would I ask that? She could easily take it back if I seem too eager.

She looks up at me with her beautiful gray eyes. "I'll allow it."

So I go back to playing with her hair. In the middle of it, she falls asleep and I admire how peaceful she looks. If only we really could live in this forever. That would be... impossible. Because one of us isn't coming out alive, and I'm planning on it being me. And if the games never chose us, I'd still probably too scared to talk to her. No, I'm positive I'd still be too scared to talk to her.

Hours later, the sun is about to set and I'm torn between waking Katnissbup to watch it or letting her rest a while longer. I know I'm determined to make sure this isn't her last sunset, but I still can't not wake her up. I've personally always enjoyed sunsets, but maybe it's the orange in them. I gently nudge her awake. Her eyes flutter open.

"I didn't think that you'd want to miss this." I point out to the colorful sky.

She sits straight up and lays her head on my shoulder. "Thanks."

And as I sat there next to the girl I love, knowing this will be the last sunset I'll be able to enjoy outside an arena, I feel as though I've lived a good life. Not great, yet it could've been a lot worse. And I know I'm only seventeen, but I've lived enough. I've lived my life. This day just completed it for me.