Night Night. Sweet Dreams.

"Mommy, I'm tired of standing in line. Can we leave?"

"No, Molly, sweetie. We've been in line for hours now. We can't leave it now, when we're so close to the front." We're about ten people back. " Once you're in there, you'll be happy you stayed here. I promise you that."

"Okay Mommy." And she bends down to play with Roxy.

The Russell family and I have been in New York City for about a week now. It hasn't been too unbearable. The morning after we arrived, we scoured the city for work. Arthur found a construction job that should last a while and Jane got a job as a seamtress. But the children and I couldn't find anything yet. No one was interested in anything we had to offer. So that night we waited in our first bread line for a couple hours and ate some tough looking substance.

The following day, Jane and Arthur had to get to their new jobs, and they insisted they take the children with them. "No, I'll take them with me so we can find some work too," I told them.

"But Annabelle, I could never ask that."

"You don't have to. I'm telling you I'll do it. I want to go to the Upper East Side to see if there are easier jobs. We didn't go there yesterday."

"Are you sure, I don't want them to be a burden."

"We wouldn't be a burden mommy! We like Annie! We'll be perfect little angels," said Molly.

"Yeah, Mom. We will be fine," agreed Teddy. He holds up his right hand, and elbow  his brother, who does the same. "Promise."

Jane looks from each of her kids then to me then back to them, and finally at me again. "Okay, okay." She kisses each of their foreheads, and hugs me. I'm alittle stunned when she pulls away. "Bless you, Annabelle Adler."

"Its not problem. Just go before you're late." She squeezes my arm and leaves along with Arthur. We all wave good bye as depart.

In the end, we found a job delivering drycleaner clothes as long as we cleaned up our own clothes. The jobs were really mine and Jimmy's because we are the teenagers, but they allowed the others to tag along as long as they don not cause mischief. I barely got away with Roxy being with us.

After a very small lunch, we went to a recreational center and cleaned scrubbed away the layers of dirt. We were raw and red when we finished, but visibly cleaner. I realized my skin wasn't the light beige it once was. It was darker, closer to my mother's than my father's. We were provided towels and we attempted to thoroughtly wash our clothes. It sort of worked.

That evening when we all reconvened, Jane was beyond words. She could hardly speak the rest of the night. She'd just look at me and look like she wanted to say something, but nothing ever came out.

That's until the next morning. Before she left, I had never heard so many thanks from anyone in my entire lifetime. Every few seconds, she'd say it again, and I'd be humble and modest about it because it's not all that big a deal, but she'd persist with it. It finally ended when she and Arthur had to leave for their jobs.

We walked up to the drycleaner we'd be working for and started what would become a daily routine. We sign in, check our list of deliveries, put everything in the proper wrappings and hit the road. We have to make the delivery in an hour, or else we'll be deducted a nickel for every half hour we're late. Most of the clothes we're delivering reminds me of the old days. My wealthier days with fine dresses, crisp and clean.

It was interesting seeing my old neighborhood again. Its bittersweet not having a delivery on my street, but I know at some point I'll have to pass it. But for now, I'm more focused on being on time.

"Next!" snarls a man in front of the soup kitchen. We're now at the front of the line and everyone in our party seems giddy. The lot of us scurry inside the large brick building, not wanting to wait any longer for nutrition, but we find ourselves in yet another line. We're handed trays and a single bowl and go to the back of this line.

There's a collective groan among us. "Its not that long. Its so much shorter than the last," I say, trying to lighten their spirits. "It won't be much longer until its we're to the front again." And I was correct. We only had to stand around for half an hour.

But the food is a bit disappointing. It just looks like dirty water with chunks of... I'm not actually sure what the chunks are. We go into the room designated for eating, and its loud and crowded. There's no empty table in sight, or even tables with empty seats, so we sit on the ground in the back corner. Jane says grace and we dig in. Half way through our meal, someone comes over to tell us we're not suppose to sit back here. So now we're balancing our bowls in our hands and trying to drink them because they're already cold. I didn't bother finishing mine, so I give the last bits to Roxy, who is also displeased, but licked it all up. I pet her when she's done.

Since it is a Sunday and the idea has been conflicting me all week, I make a choice as we leave. "Excuse me." They all stop to look at me. "I have to go do something before I head back to the junkyard. Its important and I really need to do it."

"Is something wrong?" asks Molly, whose been tethered to me since she found out I'm staying with them. Her big forest green eyes seem bigger with the curious look on her face.

"No, I just need to... visit someone."

"Can I come?" She juts out her bottom lip.

"I wish, but its something I have to do alone this time. Maybe another time I'll bring you, okay?"

"Okay," she mumbles. She lets go of my hand and takes her mother's. "Good bye, Annie."

"For now. I will be back in an hour, maybe two, no later than that. I promise." We exit the building and go our seperate ways. I tried to make Roxy go with the Russells, but she ended up with me.

Every step closer, I feel anxiety building up in me. I thought the weight would be lifting off of me as I got this over with. The exact opposite is occuring. This doesn't seem therapuetic in the slightest way. Maybe I should turn back while I have the chance.

Too late. The cemetery is within sight. My heart plummets. "Momma'." I let the word escape from my mouth, quickly slapping my hands over my lips. No need to be melodramatic. But then I find myself running as fast as I can to the reach the entrance. I'm panting when I stop at the gate, grabbing the iron rail for stability.

Roxy catches up and runs circles around pumped and completely unaware of the task at hand. I try to calm her, but she's still hyper so I just walk in. I remember the path to my mother's grave like I travel it everyday. Well, actually I remeber the path out better than the path in. The way out was more traumatizing.

I find her plot directly in the middle of the cemetery. Its covered in dirt and one can't read the words on the headstone at all, but I know this one is hers. I wipe away the dirt anyway, and confirm it for anyone who might doubt it, but I'm alone, so maybe Roxy.

I step away and fold my arms. For a while, I just stand there. Not moving, hardly breathing because the air suddenly feels icy cool. I stare at the at the words on her head stone. 'Giselle Jenson - Loved by all. A greatly beloved daughter, sister, mother, wife, and friend.' I think it suits her. "Hey Momma'." I say finally,  in a low voice. "Its me, your baby girl, Annabelle."

For some reason, I wait for something. Like a repsonse, but that makes no sense sonce she's six feet under the ground. So I feel like a crazy person.

"I'm sorry I never came to visit you." I wait again, for nothing, really, than continue. "I've wanted to, but I...I was scared. I've also been out of town." Another pause for her to respond. "I think you would know that....being my angel, right?"

I plop onto the ground on the edge of her grave, arms still folded.

"Why haven't you helped me, Momma'? You said you would help me. You said you would teach me. Guide me. I thought I could trust you. I thought you were watching me from heaven." I look up to the sky," You lied to me," I say simply.

A soft wind begins to blow.

I keep going. "I've been struggling for four years now, and what have you done for me? Watch me? And what? Nothing!" I lay on my back, my hands under my head. "I love you Momma', I do, but you... let me down. I did not expect everything to be perfect, but some signs would be just delightful.

"And where's everything you wanted for me? An education, how in this state of the nation? I tried right after your passing. Fall in love, with whom may I ask? Everyone else is more preoccupied with themself to bother with others. And truthfully, I am too. Children? Bringing them up in this mess, I could never do that. Who knows how long we'll have to endure this?

"The only good thing to come of this is meeting the Russell family. They're so kind, but you certainly did not send them my way, did you? Could you do that?" I start to believe she can. "Are they a sign that things will get better soon?" I wish for a response but the wind only picks up. I get back onto my feet. "Thank you then. I know I have only known them for such a short time, but I do care for them, as they care for me. So thank you deeply."

I decide that's all I have to say to her. And I'm about to turn away when I add, "I'll try to visit as often as I can. Maybe with a flower, a single flower because that's all I can afford, but I'll try, Momma'. I mean it. Not like you meant it, though."

Then I'm done and step away from her plot and over to the next, when I see the name and its inscription. 'John Jenson - A beloved father, husband and friend.'

I scoff this, "Whoever wrote this must not have met you, father. Or else that would be excluded completely because there is absolutely nothing to say about you." I step right over his grave, almost hoping he could feel it, but the thought sends a chill through my body. I shouldn't think such things.

"Come on, Roxy. Time to go... home?" The word is unfamiliar, yet right in this context. Home is where the people you care for live. I haven't had a real home since my mother's death.

Every step away from my mother, I feel that weight being lift off my shoulders. But at the same time, tears build up. Not sorrowful or miserable, but happy or rejoiceful tears. Its over with. I did it and I'm still in one piece. And I got to 'see' my mother atleast one more time. The tears spill over and slide down my cheek.

I wipe them away, coughing a weak laugh. "I was just trying to hold a conversation with my dead mother. How crazy is that, huh? I actually expected answers. I should probably stop talking to myself before I get thrown in the looney bin?" She barks in agreement. I suck in the mucus from my nose and cough again.

Looking back at the cemetery one last time, I depart from this gloomy and depressive scene, knowing I'll be back. Oddly, I'm in a better mood though. I almost skip back to the junkyard. I am happy enough that I stop by a candy shoppe and buy a handful of penny candy for the children and I. I'm giddy again, anticipating their expressions and excitement when they see the treats. It warms my heart.

When I get to the junkyard, families are lying down to rest for the night, including my substitute family. Molly sees me and runs right to my side. "Annie! Annie! You're back! You're back!"

"I said I would be, didn't I? In two hours, tops, right? Well, I'm here like I said I would be. And I have a surprise." I dig out the sweet from my pocket and hold them out for her to see. Her expression: priceless. She looks at the candy like I am giving her the most valuable thing on this planet.

"Candy?!" she cries.

"Mhmm." I clasp my hands around the treasures as she reaches for them. "Now, I only have enough for us to have two each and-" I stop abruptly. "Hold on a moment please." I scitter over to their parents. "I'm sorry for not asking ahead of time, but I just couldn't resist. So can they have some?"

Jane pulls me into a tight hug. "God bless you Annabelle." She sounds on the verge of tears. "Of course, of course. Thank you for doing that." She lets go and goes into her pocket pulling out change. "How much-?"

I push it away, "It was only penny candy. It didn't cost much anyway. No need." She just gives me a wondering smile. I go back to Molly, whose now joined by her brothers. "Sorry, I'm back. Like I was saying, I only have enough for us to have two each. One tonight and one tomorrow while we're walking. Is that okay with you?" They all nod eagerly. "Okay then." I pick out four pieces, stashing the rest in my pack, then plunk a single treat in each of their palms. They unwrapped them as quickly as their fingers allowed and popped them into their mouths. There was a moan of pleasure coming out of all of them.

Then I'm swarmed by them all. First Molly, then Teddy, and then Jimmy throw their arms around me into a group hug. I wrestle my arms out and wrap my arms around them as well. "Thank you Annie!" they say in unison.

"I love you." squeaks Molly, her eyes gittering with moisture.

Again, I feel tears building up. Happy tears, but I reign them back because I really did not want to cry. "I love you too, Molly." I muss her hair and hug her tighter. "I love you too boys." I add, wanting them to feel in the loop. I hear sniffles from behind us and we all look around to see Jane all out crying. She's says don't mind her and wipes her eyes on her dress. Arthur chortles alittle and soothes his wife.

In fiteen minutes we're in our sleeping quarters, which are tents. Jane, Arthur and Molly get one and I share one with the boys. I don't mind because Teddy and Jimmy are shockingly respectful of my space. Before falling asleep, they say a customary good night, "Night, night. Sweet dreams. Love you." Its endearing to hear them say it to each other. This night, they all say it to me as well, and I say it back, feeling a little awkward because I'm not family, but they're so willing to let me be.

The Russells are out before me and I'm too jittery from the day to lay still. Out of restlessness, I snag my sketchbook and pencils and sit under a light. I begin to draw out a very detailed picture of all of them. The basic sketch is finished when I hear cars stop at the front. Multiple doors slam shut and the sound of feet approaching frightens me, but I'm frozen in my spot. By a miracle, they don't even notice me.

"C'mon fellas. Let's get rid of the trash," growls a man with a torch in hand. Many others follow, some with torches like the first man, others with wooden sticks with no flame at all. One or two have something that glints in the light overhead. Guns.

I melt and run to camp, but I'm too late. They beat me and start the commotion. "Wake up!" one bellows, shooting up once. "Wake the hell up!" When there's minimal movement, he turns to the closest man and cracks a grim smile. "Maybe they didn't hear me. Let's show them already." The man he spoke to howls and torches are thrown into the air and land on peoples' things. I rush over to my substitute family and shake them awake.

"Please get up! I beg of you. Get up!" A torch lands on Jane, Arthur and Molly's tent and I grab Molly and basically kick her parents awake. They finally stir and snap into what's happening and grab their things and shove it all in the jalopy. I place her in the car and retrieve the boys , and thankfully they save their tent. I throw the sketchbook in my pack and throw that in there. One more thing. "Roxy!? Roxy!? Here girl!" I look around the area which is now in pure chaos as we scramble. To my right, a man has her by the collar and she's yelping for dear life. I dash over and pull her away. "Hands off my dog you jackass!" He gives he a deep throaty laugh and pushes me aside and moves on to his next victim. Molly's head is sticking out the window calling for me and I dive into the automobile.

Since its already running, we pull into reverse and zoom out. There's a slight traffic jam as everyone else is peeling away from this horrid situation and the men are now chasing after the cars, breaking a window here and there.

"Yeah! Leave! You don't belong here!"

Molly is in my lap, curled into a ball and the boys are stroking Roxy. "Its okay. We made it out. No one was hurt. Everyone made it out. Its okay," I muse, staring out the back window. Alot of the other families weren't as lucky. Alot of them had some of their items burning up, making the fire swell.

We park some distance away, but remain quiet. Without saying, we agree not to talk of this, not yet. So again, everyone says their customary goodnight and drift off to unconsciousness. All except me who can't shake the images of the men running us out of our only home.